It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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