By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
