Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
zippers are such a cool invention
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
