One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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