Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
