non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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