i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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