fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
