Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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