I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
