I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Alive.
So much puke
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Panties = found
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
