You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
