His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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