At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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