Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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