I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
