Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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