Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
