There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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