He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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