Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
well you can't waste a boner
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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