i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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