We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
