sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
