Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Everclear isn't food dammit
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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