he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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