I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
