Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
