it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
