Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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