You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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