I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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