He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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