i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
