Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize