Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
