The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
