you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
