She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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