i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
