He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
