He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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