If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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