Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize