He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
