Just cropdusted the office
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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