shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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