From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
