it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
