dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
