Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
