Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
