I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
