dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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