She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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