my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
