so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
