Kiss
Puke
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
