Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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