you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
