I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We need a shit load of segways right now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
