apparently the secret to your success is patron
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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