God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
