I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
