She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Someone signed my nipple.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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