Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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