Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
