I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The uberlube is also flammable
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
