He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
