I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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